Here We Go...

What a task; to sit down and write my own life story.


I have decided to do this because I feel that if the readers know more about my past, they will know more about me and who I am today. I'm also doing it to step out of my comfort zone, I'm usually not inclined to talking about my past.



I could give you a bunch of boring facts about the day I was born, how many pounds I was, and things like that, but I want to do this from my own point of view and from my own memories rather than what people have told me about my early years. So, I will start from where I remember, which was when I was about three or four, I guess. I grew up in St. Petersburg, Florida, so I was pretty much a city girl. My dad was a pastor at Calvary Chapel, he had preached at other places before that, but I can only remember from Calvary Chapel on. I don't have a whole lot of memory from Calvary, but I have a few of my dad taking me up on stage with him while he preached, runnning around the church building, and playing with other little girls there. But that was where my "real church" memories ended, because around this time, my dad felt that this was not what he was supposed to be doing. Why should he get payed to tell people about God's word? And where in the New Testament does it say that you must get dressed up and go to a big building to worship God? Didn't Jesus come and die for our sins to live within us, and not in a building? These thoughts are what led my dad to house church. Just a small group of friends gathered to talk about God's word. Isn't that how it was in the New Testament?



So, from here on we have done house church. I find it loads more fun and personal then going to a "regular church".  We have definitely met in some interesting places in the past, such as an old vacuum store, and the junkiest motel you have ever seen. But for the most part we met in our house, someone else's house, or at the park(which was always my favorite place to meet as a kid!).


We also housed, many, many guests during this time, in fact, I don't really have any childhood memories when we didn't have someone living with us! It never really bothered me though, they were always adults that sort of just minded their own business.



My childhood life would pretty much be considered an easy one. My mother was scared to send me and my sister off to school when the time came, so we were homeschooled from Kindergarten on. My parents worked part time hours so they could do things with us, like taking us to Disney World every week. Life was good, until one night when my parents asked us how we would like to have two more sisters. They told us they were thinking of taking in two third cousins who had had a very bad home life, and needed a place to stay. I was nine at the time, and couldn't stand the thought of sharing my family, I was used to having guests, but not little kids that would need my parents attention and take away from mine, so I bawled and begged them not to go through with it. Of course, now I realize that I was being very selfish, but I was only nine.


Much to my dismay, my parents decided to go through with this, and our life became a very jumbled, confusing mess. We were visited by social workers that would inspect the house and ask me and my sister questions that I didn't understand. My parents were in a constant custody battle in court, against the girls mother. I got even more upset once I met the girls that we might be getting custody over. Kendra, who was 4 at the time, was the most wild, crazy kid I had ever met. I couldn't imagine living in the same house with her. Mackenzie was 2, and wouldn't way a word to me, so I was convinced that she didn't like me, and would be miserable at our house. The girls continued to come and visit us. I became scared and confused at all of this, and I just wanted my life to go back to the way it was. My perfect little life in which there was never any troubles.


Well, I got what I wanted for a short time. The court never got back to us on the girls for a while, and I started feeling good for awhile. Music started to become a big part of my life at this time. I started playing the piano with myself as a teacher, and started singing non-stop. But that didn't last for long, because soon, after a few more visits to the court from my parents, I was told we got custody of the girls. That very night, they came over, and trouble started right away. Kendra completely destroyed my room and didn't calm down the whole entire night. I cried as soon as I got away from them, and kept crying all night long. I wished them away and asked my parents how they could do this to me.



The next few weeks that followed were horrible. I was convinced that Kendra hated me, even though I did everything in my power to make her happy, I set up games and crafts and gave all my attention to her, but she was never satisfied and always had something nasty to say to me. The only person she liked in our family was my dad. She even once told me she wished everyone in the world would die but her and my dad. I cryed my eyes out everyday, and asked God why she hated me so much, and what I ever did to her to deserve it. I realize now that she probably didn't hate me, she had just had a very tough life, and life isn't always fair, you're not gonna get repayed for all the good things you do for others. You can't expect to be repayed for doing God's will, except for when we die. Of course, I didn't think about these things then, and all I wanted was for life to go back to normal.


Gradually, things got a little bit better, but I still couldn't see a bright side to the story coming anytime soon. I still cryed and wished Kendra away, and she still didn't appreciate everything I did for her. And whenever my parents weren't around she would tell me and my sister how she wished we would die, and how much she hated us. But slowly my parents started punishing her more, and she started learning the ways of our home a little more. She still didn't like me, but she eventually stopped wishing death on me. Mackenzie was always fine from the beginning, quiet at first, but a really nice kid, the kind you couldn't help but like. She rarely gave us any trouble. I don't think there ever was a time that Kendra wasn't trouble(my nickname for her behind her back was "Little Nightmare"), so I enjoyed the few days I got a break from her. Me and my sister would go to stay at my grandparents house Sunday night, and stay all day Monday, and those days became my favorite days of the week.


Life went on with Little Nightmare and Mackenzie as it always did. I decided to take piano lessons from a teacher, and started with a lady named Ms. Rubinchik. She was completely horrible. My very first lesson she wouldn't let me look at my hands while I played and discouraged me beyond belief. I had given up on piano when I came across Ms. Betty at Taco Bell. She came over to tell us what a lovely family we were(as lovely as you can be with Little Nightmare in your family, I thought) and it turns out she was a piano teacher, so I started to go to her. Music became important to me, and a huge part of my life was spent playing and singing.



What I didn't know was another big change was coming our way. My dad took just me and my sister to Disney World on this particular day, and told us that the next day we were going to go look at mobile homes. Of course, we asked why, and he said it was because we were seriously considering putting a trailer on our Mamaw and Papaw's property, in which they were renting out to my uncle, about an hour and a half away from us, in a little town called Nobleton. I was completely shocked. I had been to Nobleton many times, but I couldn't imagine living in such a tiny little town. The guests at Disney must have thought it was pretty weird to see two 8 and 10 year old girls sniffling and wiping away tears in the middle of Epcot.


So, the next few months were spent visiting Nobleton, making plans, and looking at mobile homes(or manafactured homes if you prefer) until we finally found the one we wanted. I thought it was quite weird as I watched our future home being moved onto the lot. Soon we were packing up the last of our things and moving into a friends vacation home they had in Nobleton for awhile. We there stayed until the electricty in the trailer was turned on, which was almost a month later.


I started to enjoy Nobleton more than I thought I would. Me, Mina, LN, Mackenzie, and our cousins that lived behind us, Cali and Luke, would all play together. For awhile, I was still going down to St. Pete for my piano lessons, but I became really tired of driving down there once a week, and just decided to stop. Soon after I completely forgot about missing St. Pete, and I was really enjoying Nobleton. I started to make friends in the area, which was something I didn't really have a lot of in St. Pete, and I slowly started becoming used to the area and enjoyed it a lot. We were right by Croom, the state forest, and I loved hiking there. We were also by the 40 mile paved bike trail, and I enjoyed biking on it. Believe it or not, from there I decided I never wanted to go back to St. Pete!


Shortly after the move, we started having worse trouble with Kendra and Mackenzie. The court wanted them to visit with their parents more and more, and we had found that they just became worse whenever they were around their mother, and it became an issue. Social workers started coming back again. Life started becoming topsy-turvy again.Eventually, we decided as a family we couldn't put up with it anymore, and we were overjoyed to hear there was a couple with two kids of their own that wanted custody over the girls. So we met them, and spent a lot of time with them, until finally it was decided by the court the girls would live with them.

Life seemed so peaceful after they left. I could finally stop worrying about "Little Nightmare" and I found all the attention on me and Mina felt good. We continued to live in that same house until January of this year, more problems arose. Our Uncle Nate needed a place to live and we started having other family issues as well, so my parents told me and my sister that we were to move into my grandparents house, which was about 4 blocks from our house. They only use this house temporarily, until they sell their house in St. Pete and can move to Nobleton perminently. I was upset about it at first, but I have found now that I love living there, we have a finger to the river in our backyard that we like to swim and kayak in, and me and my sister have a huge room upstairs to ourselves.


I guess my life has always been unpredictable, and certainly a crazy ride. But I can't complain:)

-Marelle<3